Master Jonjon Tourist Videos

LOCATION. Nearest station: Nestroyplatz. Exit the station, walk northeast, and you'll see the apartment building to your right. WHO'S WHO.  The apartment belongs to Johann Strauss II, and not the long list of Strauss' you've heard elsewhere. "Johann Strauss Apartment" (Vienna) As you enter the first room (the one with his piano), to your left you’ll have to activate an ultra insensitive sensor hidden under the title-page display. Wave at it again and again until Blue Danube starts to play. And then with the mood being set, you’ll realize what it’s like to be the one-song man he’s become in pop culture. With the first room arranged to be more of a “Museum of Blue Danube”. Luckily, this pop conception is to be expanded in the next room, with his novel attempts (e.g. operettas) and juicy re-re-marriages exposed. Clip: "Johann Strauss Apartment" (Vienna) HERITAGE. Strauss lived here from 1863 to 1870. The Blue Danube was comp...

LOCATION. A twelve-minute walk from Vienna Central Station. Exit the station on the east and walk along Karl-Popper-Strasse. Turn left into Ghegastrasse and enjoy the view of gentrified apartments and constructions all around you. Keep walking till you reach a park, then turn right into this red-bricked establishment. The museum is right in the middle behind a lake / fountain. “Museum of Military History” (Vienna) LANGUAGES. They’ve got an app. So download it before you go up those stairs. Otherwise, like me you’ll have to rely on the stacks of A4 paper in each gallery, a spectacular leaflet display in twelve office paper colours from twelve languages. And the more you insist on finding what specifically each page is telling you, the more you’ll also realize how heavily they come with these random obscure directives. Imagine trying to find the "wall behind" or the "wall next to it" as you move from exhibit to exhibit. Clip: “Museum of Mili...

LOCATION. A four minute-walk from MuseumsQuartier Station. THE BIGGER PICTURE. Located within MuseumsQuartier – a Brobdingnagian collection of exhibits, galleries and studios. Imagine an art district famous for its snazzy contemporary art and comprises squares and blocks and atriums and outdoor sofa-beds. “Leopold Museum” (Vienna) In other words, being here is to find yourself in a timesinking black hole of showcases for serious tourists. As you walk past its entrance, and unless you’re on a ten-day trip – you’ll realize it’s impossible to explore everything from gargantuan galleries to indie workshops. But then at least look for this renowned “Leopold Museum”, a giant cube for modern arts in the middle of a square. It’s Viennesey, and as such perfect for “foreigners” who’d like to know more about the city – similar to Vienna’s Art History Museum  – but so much more focused on the very city you’re standing on (imagine a crossover with city museums: recall our...

LOCATION. The apartment building is to the west of the city centre close to the University of Vienna. And hence not quite the St.-Stephen’s-and-friends attractions that we’ve been covering so far. Closest tram station: Schottentor. Leave the tram and walk south for another minute. Turn left and you’ll see a cliff right ahead. Take the stairs at the either side, walk up. The house is at the top of the cliff accompanied by Beethoven-themed outlets. Beethoven Pasqualati House (Vienna) ETYMOLOGY. The quirky name “Pasqualati” might be entirely foreign to us, but is simply the surname of the house owner whose son (another Pasqualati obviously) has been Beethoven’s close friend. HERITAGE. Beethoven lived here twice, 1804-08 and 1810-14. Outside this period he was to stay over occasionally. Clip: Beethoven Pasqualati House (Vienna) COMPOSITION. Fur Elise, Fidelio as well as the 5th were composed here. EXISTING CONDITION. You’ll have to walk up flights of stair...

LOCATION. Nearest station: Stephansplatz. A six-minute walk from St. Stephen’s Cathedral, exit the cathedral, go north and take your second left. If you see a bunch of tourists shooting their phones to the sky, don’t panic – it’s probably the Anker Clock, a bizarre Art Nouveau copper piece featuring twelve historical figures moving through the hours. Fitted with a “clock face” that could riddle you till the next. Walk past the clock for another twenty seconds. Roman Museum (Vienna) HERITAGE. The museum is built on top of a legionary fortress, first to fifth century. Much of the establishment spreads over the streets around the area; what is shown here is only one of the houses within the fortress. Discovered 1948 during the building of a sewer. Exhibitions go through what it’s like to live in Vindobona, the Roman settlement that is present-day Vienna. The settlement guards the Roman Empire’s northern border. It contains a mix of civilians both local and Roman as well a...

LOCATION. A four-minute walk from St. Stephen’s Cathedral. Go east. Vienna’s composer homes can be very lonely for multiple reasons. First there’s the-small-and-the-limited, like Schubert Memorial Apartment . Then there’s Beethoven Museum , requiring a train ride and a little hike into the northern suburbs. And what about Haydn House , a mere seven-minute walk into narrower streets unfortunately whose name is not as clamorous as other classical, incidentally-also-pop composers? Now imagine what it’s like with its primal location and – well, it’s Mozart – finally a residence to be filled with tourists inside out. You’ll know where to stop as you bump into this swarm of visitors. Not everybody will get entrance tickets though. Some prefer to selfie at its front door and skip everything else. Mozart House, Vienna HERITAGE. Mozart lived here with his family during 1784-1787. It was the times of The Marriage of Figaro and Don Giovanni . So the short story was that it repr...

LOCATION. It’s hard to miss this glassy storefront, having occupied the golden location of being next to St. Stephen’s Cathedral. As you walk out of the church, turn right twice to circle around to its northern side. The museum is right across the pedestrian street. Cathedral Museum, Vienna CURATING STYLE. We’ve already seen many examples of cathedrals and their exhibitions living off in the past. They’re rather like depositories but yet a treasure trove so particularly fond of the medieval and the renaissance (example from last year alone: Brno’s Diocesan Museum and Augustinian Abbey Museum ). But now with these nostalgic settings it’s often easy to overlook these religious sites also as ongoing coffers of creators  of wonderful stuff. Clip: Cathedral Museum, Vienna THEMES. We've already come across churches-as-art-gallery before - Tallinn’s St. Nicholas’ Church  being one fine example. And here in the Cathedral Museum its mission is no less aggressiv...

LOCATION. Nearest tram station: Schwarzenbergplatz. As you get off the tram, head towards city centre through Schwarzenbergstrasse. You’ll simply be going from one end of the street to the very other, a four minute walk. See: “House of Music” (Vienna) This is a complicated attraction. You get to see the many sides as to what counts as “music”. Imagine getting across a corridor to be stormed by a hoard of panels on the directors of Vienna’s state opera. And this is how you’ll start your journey. Endure on as this peculiarity flows past you. It will get better. The next floor lets you remix sounds and samples as an entertainment system turns classical tunes into club music. You also get to play instruments and put everything together – a 21st century celebration of everything-can-be-music. Clip: “House of Music” (Vienna) Yet another floor is dedicated to classical Viennese composers with the big names each getting their own room, chronologically. Find yourself start...

LOCATION. The museum is at the mid-point between Stephansplatz and Karlsplatz. Expect a ten-minute walk. If you start off from Karlsplatz, step away from the parks and go north along Karntner Strasse. Hike your way into the pedestrian zone and past the church. Turn right into Johannesgasse and you’ll be there within a minute. "Literature Museum" (Vienna) CROWD CONTROL CHECK. This is a lonely poor thing, and by far the most uncrowded attraction I can find in Central Vienna. Don’t underestimate its size – two floors of permanent showcases, throw another one in for changing exhibitions. Imagine what it’s like to stroll across videos screens and alleys of descriptions, artifacts, excerpts – only to meet no one else but two staffers along the way. After buying your ticket you’ll be given an iPad “audio” guide (not a hiss ever comes out of it I’m not sure if that’s the right name). As you walk from checkpoint to checkpoint you have to literally touch the sticker at the...

LOCATION. Southwest of Stephansplatz Station. Requires a three-minute walk. In other words: right at the city centre. That means you can schedule this museum on the same day as other Stephansplatz attractions such as the Cathedral of St. Stephen, Mozart House and Roman Museum. See: “Jewish Museum Vienna” Last time we’ve been to the Museum Jewish Quarter to be reminded of the medieval Jewish-Viennese settlement that has been destroyed in 1420. And now here’s another one – this time more of a get-to-know type of exhibition showcasing the life of Jews in Austria through the last five hundred years. On ground floor (clip) you are confronted with the struggle for equality in the twentieth century through everyday items and written records. Find yourself re-living the last one hundred years as Austrians just as the rest of the developed world spirals through prejudice, racist crimes and the enactment of civil laws. And the series of both violent and courageous acts concentrated...